Solitude is blessed.

I think it is about time I learn about the wisdom of silence and speak only when necessary.

괜찮아요

Perhaps one of the hardest thing is to let people go. You know that you maybe on the same bed with them but you aren't the one they're thinking about. And wedged in between your bodies is an empty space, as if your bodies are making it clear that they don't want to have anything to do with each other. But the line was drawn clearly from the start, and there are no gray areas. How could I have missed that?

The worst thing is, you can't even do anything about it. You could cry about it, you could rave about it, you could get angry over it but nothing can change the fact that this person you're lying on the very bed with, isn't in love with you. They are in love with someone else, who share a very different bed, a very different room, a very different house. But they might very well be sharing the same feelings for each other.

And in their mind, you will always be this "very good friend" to them. This "friend" whom you would like to keep by your side. This "friend" whom you think "can find and deserves someone better". This "friend" who will be just a friend and nothing more.

I never feel good reading through messages without permission and now I feel really bad for doing so. Nonetheless, I am relieved that I know what was going. I mean, come on, his eyes lit up and his lips broke into a smile upon receiving that message. Who else could it be other than the one you really love?

As you walk on by, will you call my name?

Won't you come see about me?
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving me everything inside and out and
Love's strange so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on

lkjnsdalfjnaskbksjfba

Sometimes, I just feel like slapping myself over and over again. WHY DID I SAY THAT? :/

unicorn poop makes your skin glows

The media portrayal of unrealistic people isn't new. The fact is that we, the people who are criticizing the way media is portrayed, are the ones allowing it to continue what they are doing. As long as we keep buying into the marketing campaigns that aim to make us feel inadequate in beauty, we are making the campaigns work. We are worried about our outlooks and we feel incomplete without those "new-and-improved-life-changing" things that technology had made "the impossible seem possible". We are validating our worth in the society with just a lousy piece of glass, juxtaposed with excessively distorted advertisements. And as we buy diet pills, cosmetic products and expensive clothing to look like those people, we are showing the media that they are indeed giving us what we want. Believe me, because I regretted doing things to myself for the sake of 'beauty'.

To hell with the idea that beautiful is thin (or muscled) and white (or tanned) and flawlessly skinned.
The media is only a reflection of what will interest us most, what will make us turn our heads and pay attention, and therefore garner the most attention, income and (what else) power.

The people we love are the people who are most beautiful to us. Because beautiful does not have to be physical. Actually, if you ask me, inner beauty speaks infinitely more, and is so much more striking and powerful.

To quote from an article I read recently:
"So let me tell you what I think beautiful is, what real, deep, inner beauty is to me. Beautiful is he who keeps his head up and is proud of his body, just as it is. Beautiful is the man who has to hide his gay lover from his judgmental parents, but who loves him, regardless of what the world will think. Beautiful are the women who buy the jeans that fit them, not the ones they hope will fit one day; the people who wear what they want because they like it. Beautiful are the people who choose love. Beautiful are the people who allow their bodies to be their temples and canvases, and who create their outer beings to reflect their inner. Beautiful are the people who hurt and feel insecure and make mistakes—but rise above, and find confidence and admit when they’re wrong. Beautiful is you and me. Beautiful is everyday. Beautiful is the struggle and the triumph, and beautiful is the understanding how necessary the struggle was. Remember that the next time you feel hopeless. Beautiful is loving yourself enough to know you’re worth more than feeling inadequate."

In the end, I decided that as long as I am leading a healthy lifestyle and not harming myself while achieving what "beauty" is, there's really no need for me to get a pale skin tone and buy expensive clothing. And I'm quitting smoking. And reducing my consumption of alcohol.

Prohibition and shit don't work at all

" The first attempt at prohibition that we have any historical record of started with these words "And the Lord God commanded the man, 'You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.' " (Genesis 2:16,17). God gave them free will after that, despite banishing them from the garden of Eden. "

" In Catholicism, Augustine of Hippo underlined that the fruits from the Tree of Knowledge were not evil by themselves, because everything that God created was good (Gen 1:12). It was disobedience of Adam and Eve, who had been told by God not to eat of the tree (Gen 2:17), that was obnoxious and caused disorder in the creation, thus humanity inherited sin and guilt from Adam and Eve's sin. "

Look at a person like you're blind.

I want to look at you like I'm blind. I want to feel your body with my eyes closed, and know about your rough edges and perfect curves. I want to tear off my skin and make you wear it, so I could feel your back and your front all at the same time.

I want to know why you are so beautiful me. I want to know if it's those long lashes and big eyes that makes conversation shiver in excitement, or the way you always smile like a little boy excited with his fine piece of work built with Lego bricks. Or perhaps it could be the way you sing to me, and even though it is usually off-key, and Elmo has a far more pleasing sound, I've always loved to hear you sing.

I want to understand things about you that I cannot see and didn't know, things like the people you've ever been in love with, why you loved them and why they loved you. I want to know about the times you think you'd never make it through. I want to know the first time you felt the weight of hate, and if that day still trembles beneath your bones. I want you to tell me about all the ways you've been unkind.

See I wanna know what you see in a mirror on the days you're feeling good. I wanna know what you see in a mirror on the days you're feeling bad. I wanna know the first person who told you that your beauty could ever be reflected on a lousy piece of glass. I wanna know the person who told you that your worthiness could ever be reflected with a scar on your bum. I wanna know whoever told you that you aren't beautiful, then ask them come, I punch them for you. Hahaha.