Fleeting sanity perhaps.

"Apparitional experiences is a type of hallucinatory experience occurring to sane people is the, which may be defined as one in which a subject seems to perceive some person or thing that is not really there. Self-selected samples tend to report a predominance of human figures, but apparitions of animals, and even objects are also reported. It is interesting to note that the majority of the human figures reported in such samples are not recognised by the subject, and of those who are, not all are of deceased persons; apparitions of living persons have also been reported."


I know there's a free bird that's willing to listen to my cries of midnight horrors, and even as it flies away in a distance, it'll come back when it hears my songs. That's satisfying enough.

Kay Sarah Sarah.

"Because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal."

nibblenibble

They said, "Vincent Van Gogh, you only have one ear, you can't be a great artist." He said, "I can't hear you."


So when anyone tries to put you down, you give them a sucker punch.

P.S., I wanna get one too.

I'm getting things on my hand and working towards it. Well, it's about time anyway, so no more procrastination. Besides, I gotta get a whole stash of money poured out for my nose job. I wanna look like Takeshi Kaneshiro LOL.

HIYASHI CHUKA SOBAAAAAAAA

Oh have I ever mentioned that it I'm constantly craving for Hiyashi Chuka Soba (usually from Sushi Tei? How the cold noodles in tickles your tonsils before sliding down deeper into your digestive tract and leaving behind a refreshed and cooled trail. Oh how each bite of it gives a sweet sanguine embrace of life!

Sweet.

Meow

Consulted a friend's boyfriend, and I was told the same thing, that I worry too much about myself. I worry too much about the unnecessary, that I'm too young, that I'm too immature, that I didnt experience too much in life, even though I really feel so. I was reminded again that age was and never will be a yardstick for maturity. Also, those that aren't wise are constantly thinking that age will determine the level of one's maturity.

It was struck on bull's eye, and I do have to admit that I seek a lot of attention, as much as I want to deny it. Even by posting this, I am already seeking a certain level of attention. I always try to think I'm not, but subconsciously, I really do seek attention because (as read by Terence) I feel insecure about myself and I have very low self-confidence, despite me being outspoken. Terence said that I'm unnaturally outspoken, because what I say are really random, not something that comes from my heart, and that plays a part in determining whether one is truly outspoken and confident or not.

I also learnt that in a way or another, love doesn't really transcend time. Even dust collects after time, and there is no doubt that one will stray away from their loved ones, but the most important thing is to relive the moments you've had when you fall in love. There is a huge different between friends and your lover, because after all you don't experience all the 酸甜苦辣 with your close friends. Maybe just 甜, but you dont experience 酸苦辣. And those usually happens between couples when they quarrel, when they get jealous or when they feel unappreciated.

And that true confidence is really important. It's not about putting up a brave front, but truly loving yourself and loving yourself even with your flaws. Don't worry too much because love is a learning journey for both sides, it need not necessary be the older one teaching the younger one, because both people have different takes in life.

Ah anyways, I felt happy that I've been there with baby Chan and Terence. I really appreciate that.

Kay Sarah Sarah.

This life will hit you hard in the face, wait for you to get up just so it can kick you in the stomach because by getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air. There is hurt here, that cannot be fixed by bandage or love songs. So when you know when Superman isn't coming, you don't have to wear the cape all by yourself, 'cause no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal. Believe me, I tried.

So instead, always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boots, because there are no heart-breaks that chocolates can't fix. Right, there's a few heart breaks that chocolates can't fix, but that's what the rain boots are for because rain will wash away everything if you let it. There'll be days like this when you open your hands only to wind up with blisters and bruises, when you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape, and the boots are filled with rain and you'll be up to your knees and disappointment, and those are the very days that you have all the more reason to say thank you. Cause there's nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it's sent away.

And no matter how many times land mines erupt in a minute, be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called Life. And yes, on a scale of one to over-trusting, I'm pretty damn naive, but know that this world is made up of sugar. It can crumble so easily but don't be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it. Remember that good things come in threes and, so do bad things, and always apologise when you've done something wrong, but don't you ever need to apologise for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining, and your voice is small but don't ever stop singing. And when they finally hand you heartache, and when they slip war and hatred under your door, and offer you handouts at street corners of cynicism and defeat, don't stab yourself with despondency and drown in doubt of self-worth, because when the rain stops falling, the sun will come out and shine again.

Fluffy Siao

One of the most important thing I've ever learnt from books is probably the "1st Habit" from the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Richards Covey.

Be Proactive - Which basically means taking initiative in life by realizing that your decisions (and how they align with life's principles) are the primary determining factor for effectiveness in your life. And one should take responsibility for your choices and the subsequent consequences that follow.

If you ever look around, alot more people are reactive instead of being proactive. Being reactive is letting emotions control you out of rashness and not being level headed, while being proactive is actively stop yourself from being rash and keep your mind in check before making a decision to react or embrace things as it is and deal with it in a more effective manner. That's probably why Rachel and I never quarreled because we never want to react over things and deal a killing blow to our friendship.

Love letter from a bicycle tire to a toothbrush.

If I told you that you were meant for the cleaner life, that I will drag you through the mud, that I would tread all over you, that I would always be chasing, and you always watching me disappear and appear in the midst of searching for myself, and that would be a vicious cycle, would you fall in love with me? Would you care to know about my rough edges and see my not-so-perfect curves? Would you fit into whatever spaces I let you?

If loving me means getting dirty, would you knowingly let the grime slow you down? If I told you that we live in different worlds and we're always really busy, and in even in your dreams I spin you around so fast you always wake up dizzy, would you caress me and tell me it's gonna be okay, even if I am a burden of indefinite weight, unmeasurable even with love?

There is this constant overbearing feeling inside me, but I never want to talk about it. Perhaps, you could say that in our lives, there'll only be a certain number of people that you care a lot for, so much that you feel worth in self-sacrificing. We know there's no Superman flying to them, but we'll be willing to put on a cape for, yet as we try to fly, we realise that the people we're trying to save are the ones standing on our cape, inhibiting us from moving forward. I've never really liked to depend on, even though it is much easier to depend on others than yourselves, because as much as we try to stretch our hands to catch all the pain falling on us, our hands are only this small and we're unable to grab hold of agony and misery in the heart of our palms.

I never liked to depend on others, because I know that when we depend on others, we feel comfortable, but those people saving us are carrying our burden for us, together with theirs. We are, afterall, humans, and we aren't that strong to sling a baggage behind us and say it's easy. It's not. Because whilst everyone else are constantly on the move in life, people who're helping you through are staying on a constant with you.

I'm not trying to insinuate anything, but just wondering if love truly transcends all, would someone who has been through so much in life ever stay and wait for someone who's in the midst of searching for himself? Because the path to it is weary and probably dreadful anyway, I guess.

Moolah.

I've been working almost everyday now. So tiring but I know it's mandatory. Sucks innit?

Roasted pigeon

Baby Siao and I "caught" a bird by the roadside yesterday. We didn't really catch it, but picked it up from the ground because it seems to have difficulty flying or even moving about. Too bad we didnt have wormdoodles or bird food for it. She said that animals know when they're going to die, and this bird's probably too old to fly and is tryna get to a place to hibernate-till-it-dies.

How do birds die? I always thought they die of hunger once they reach a certain age when they're too old to fly and to get food. Their kids would have probably been grown up and have a nest of their own anyway. Then I realised that it's almost the same for humans. We grow old, and our children would have homes of their own, if we get too old to take care of ourselves, we'll be suffering more than enjoying life.

Fart.

Sheol

A dark and silent abyss, where the souls of the dead wander. My foray into the abyss began with the innocence of a newborn's cry. Each breath brings with it smothering despair. The pain is eternal. What words could I offer when I see you, chasing after a fleeting butterfly, so free and boundless? I'm bound to Earth, amassing a wealth of knowledge, the ultimate equation which barred my path, and the solution. I continued to search for a simple universal answer.

Joy. The joy of life. The pureness of joy in a child chasing after a butterfly, the consummate joy of man that shall never fade. However, the irregular wingbeats of the butterfly give rise to an infinite array of realities. The laws of life sneer at human wisdom. Crises of all kinds are adverted, yet poverty never goes away. Humans devour each other, succumb to disease, and cry out in agony as they die.

Death incarnate, can you hear my voice? Can you hear the grevious sobs of a mourning child? The carcass of the butterfly you have ensured may pale or tear apart, yet still there are those who would defy death. Crushed dreams, brilliant lights are now only the lingering rays of sunset, spread your wings with fear. Take flight, butterfly of despair.

Licking my paws

You retract into yourself and bare your fangs at others, indulging in self-pity and losing yourself.

As if a good thing ever could make up for all the pain

There's been a lot more troubling stuff in my mind, which mainly revolves around money. Sucks to be like that :/ Then again, it's much better if you've ever been through this. Haha.

OH OH OH OH

I JUST FINISHED A DIGITAL PAINTING. OMFG I CAN'T WAIT TO POST IT.

Ciao. Gotta sleep before a work marathon of 12hours work consecutively <3