"There is no rule that you can't show feelings just because it's a game."

I loved him, but I couldn't share my feelings. I have to bury them deep in my heart, so that i can forget them someday.


We were talking about it and I realised how I've tried to constantly suppress myself from reacting with emotions, and to forcefully act with logical judgements instead. It scares me how "emotionless" I am with regards to dealing with problems I meet, and perhaps in relationships, and I wonder if that was because of my past relationships. I had 2 men that I loved deeply, but nothing turns out right, perhaps because I was just too emotionally unstable that I couldn't accept the fact that I wasn't good enough. Or maybe I just wasn't good enough because I just wasn't good at dealing with my emotions pragmatically.And perhaps that changed me to this emotionless, un-passionate void I've never wanted to become.