Done deal.

At some point, I knew I need to stop and walk away. It's not like I've given up and shouldn't try again. There's a difference between determination and desperation. What is mine will truly be mine someday, and what is not will never be, no matter how hard I try.

Sometimes I wonder if it has anything got to do with me. Am I just not hot enough? Am I not lean enough? Am I too skinny, or am I too fat? Am I ugly because I'm scarred above my eyebrow, or was it my nose that is too big? Is it because of how effeminate I sound when I talk, or is it because of my effeminate behaviour? Am I too loud, or am I too quiet and boring? I know that'll be a vicious cycle, but I know I'll try to change without losing who I am.

Then again, I have much better things to do than wasting time on things that stops me from moving forward. Right now, I'm just excited and I can't wait for that to get started :-)