Why can't you just stop thinking so much, stop feeling pathetic about yourself and learn to live life as it is? If you have the courage to take on the pills and hold that blade, why can't you channel those courage into accepting change and making your life better? There's Gotta Be More To Life, if you haven't heard that song yet.
If you can't take the pain of it anymore, then, share it with someone you trust alot. Don't go bearing the weight of the burden all by yourself. Cheesy as it sounds, that's what friends are for, right?
There'll be days like this, when rain seems to wash away everything, but there're some things that will be washed away only if you let it. There are some things that'll be gone before you could even reach and drag it back, but rain will never be able to wash away your heart and your soul. If there are days that make you feel that rain is washing away everything, look right back at you and you'll see that there are still things even more precious than those you've lost, and those are the days when you have all the more reason to say, "Thank you", because there is nothing more beautiful than the way oceans refuses to kiss the shoreline no matter how many times they've been sent away.
If there are days when you feel that the rain is nothing more but a mockery from heaven, beating down on you because of you losing things you deem as important, and you're up to your knees and disappointment, Thank the rain for coming down because, rain is just washing away your tears, and it is a good thing tears never show in the pouring rain. If the rain is mocking you, that's because you let it. The rain is nothing more but a gift of life from heaven, so don't think otherwise, because the rain is you.
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